” Hate looks ugly on any and everyone. “
A letter to John and Jane.
I’d like to start by telling you both what horrible, worthless pieces of absolute trash you are. You are:
Selfish
Manipulative
Controlling
Abusive
Hateful
Prejudice
Uptight
Unloving
Belittling
Inconsiderate
Callous
Cynical
And…
My biggest heartbreak.
You destroyed my life, made everyday feel like I was grasping for breath when all I wanted to do was let go. You shattered the life I could’ve had. John, you ripped every shred of joy from my hands, bruised my body and heart, left me in a hole of anxiety and depression and went on to make yourself the best life possible while leaving me to drown in the mess you made. How can you live with yourself?!?!? How can a man like you live on knowing the damage you caused?
Jane, you play every victim card in the book, while being the biggest hypocrite I’ve ever met. You may have had a rough life growing up, but it gives you no excuse to ruin someone else’s.
I hope you both know that no matter what you do, you’ll never be able to outrun the things you’ve done. Never be able to rewind and fix things. Never change the view I have of you. Because when I see you, I see the reason for the hell I lived through.
-Morgan
A letter to dad and mom.
Dad and Mom,
I’m writing this to let you know how the things you did impacted me.
You were both the class A example of an abusive marriage. The reason for so many deep rooted issues in your kids’ lives and the reason I doubt myself everyday. Never once did you take us seriously. Never once did you actually care. Never once did you make us feel like the lives we were living were worth it. However… that’s all over and done with now. Dad, you moved states away and are living your best life. Mom, you’re living in a house hours away alone. You’re so alone in life, just like we were when we were young. I think the worst part about everything you guys did… is that no matter how hard I try not to, I always end up feeling bad for you. I end up wanting you both to be happy. Dad, right now I have more of a relationship with you than I do mom and I think that’s because I’m grasping, trying desperately to hold onto any shred of a “father” that I can. I just want to be like the families I see in my friends’ lives. I don’t want to be alone on holidays. I don’t want to walk down the aisle alone one day. I don’t want this “family”.
I struggle with those feelings on an almost daily basis, but you know what? I. am. Okay. I’m doing so great, I’m living MY best life right now! I have so many people that have become a rock in my life and “families” that I’ve been so blessed to be apart of. I have Jesus, who I’ve learned is the greatest Father I’ll ever need and who I know I’m loved by more than any earthly parents ever could love me. So, I want you to know, It’s okay. Don’t get me wrong, you’re still horrible people. like. really. horrible, but I’ve forgiven you and I want you to know that. I want the burden, if there is even any burden of guilt, to be slightly relieved. I want you both to live happy lives, because the thought of hating everyday is all too familiar and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. One last thing… please, please don’t hate yourselves. Hate looks ugly on any and everyone. It drags you down and destroys more lives than your own. Love people with the time you have left on this earth. If you couldn’t love us, it doesn’t mean you can’t love others, so please, just love.
Love,
Morgan
Here's a thought... 
Moments of Awesomeness — Morgan — I was a little worried at how tame that first letter was. People usually really let it fly on that one, and yours wasn’t as ferocious as I was expecting, so I was worried that the second letter wasn’t going to be different enough to really have a strong rhetorical impact. But you did really well, shifting the focus and energy in that second letter. And your addressing of the two letters is really powerful, thinking about whom you’re writing to and how you feel about them based on what you’re calling them.
Next time — Keep playing and taking risks. The list in that opening letter and the informal punctuation to deliver emphasis (it’s. just. good.) were real risks. Some stodgy correctness-police writing professor could’ve really ripped you on those. But they absolutely worked for your post, and they paid off. So keep trying different things.
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Hi Morgan! I relate a lot to your letter. I went through a lot of childhood trauma as well. As a matter of fact, I went 3 or 4 years without talking to my mom and when I was very young, my dad had to take me to court because I refused to see him as well. I did come around to my dad, and I’m so glad that I did since he passed when I was fairly young and I would have so many regrets if I never had that relationship with him. It was actually someone that I was dating that convinced me to give my mom a chance. I had to learn to love at a distance and to never have expectations. As a result, I did have my mom to walk me down the aisle. I just had to re-frame the relationship that i wished I had into one that was attainable, and now, many years later, I’m very happy with our relationship. I do know that every situation is different though and sometimes a relationship isn’t possible. I wish you the best though! I really liked how your letter was written also. My favorite part was in the first letter when you separated all the adjectives. It added more power to the words.
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I really enjoyed the first part with all of the descriptive words! I think the spacing really gave power behind each one that really made you “feel” them as a reader. I don’t relate, as I don’t remember the drinking and arguing days between my parents. My mother protected me from most of that. My mom had me at 16 and my dad was 24, so they obviously had some major differences. My dad straightened out and they both provided me a wonderful life. I can relate to domestic abuse and the hate that it can bring out in someone. I had a bad relationship with my kids’ dad that lasted too long simply because I wanted that picture perfect family, unfortunately he chose alcohol, but I chose my kids. I am blessed to be in a great relationship now and my kids get to see how a man and woman are really supposed to treat each other.
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This post is truly raw and filled with emotion. For the letter written to your parents, it reminds me of a book called The Glass Castle. If you’ve never read it, you should check it out. The author has a troubling childhood and later forgives her parents. You might really like it and/or relate to it (it’s a good read too). To the first letter… I relate all to well. I had my own John this summer. I had left a 3 1/2 year relationship and jumped into a new one. I guess relationships could be my safety net? I learned that my John was selfish, controlling, manipulative, narcissistic, and even bigoted. Every red flag that was apparent, I ignored. I appreciate you posting this. Truly, I am sorry that your John was so awful to you. I really am. In a way, it’s comforting to know I wasn’t the only one who has had a John. While I can’t imagine what you’d been through, and I’m sure our experiences are different, I feel some comfort knowing that someone in the world understands the hurt that loved ones can cause. Like you, I have forgiven but I have not forgotten. In all honestly, I’ve mostly forgiven. I’m still trying to get over the reality that my ex boyfriend lied to me about his relationship status, and is now engaged to the woman who was portrayed as an ex and I am a distant memory. But reading your post, I think I’m ready to finally let it go. You seem so at peace, happy, understanding, and compassionate. I want to be all of those things. I think it’s time to forgive and move on. Thank you for inspiring me to do so.
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